Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
