3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
