Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
