Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize