the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
