don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
