my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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