alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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