For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
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Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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