So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
