i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
