it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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