Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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