so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
