I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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