Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
