But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
