All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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