fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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