forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
