I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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