you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
