I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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