mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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