Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
