Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
whose parrot is this?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize