Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
