i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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