You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
