Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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