TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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