Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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