I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
