He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
