it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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