There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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