its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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