Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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