it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
