i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
