So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
