im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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