yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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