come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
