isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
