We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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