I look better un-naked...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
