I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
