My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
