you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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