my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I could fuck to npr.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
