I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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