happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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