I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
