Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
barbara walters just said penis...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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