Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
