pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize