i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
