Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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