I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize