oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
