So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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