Swine flu is the new snow day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Of course I have a pirate flag
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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