Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i will never coherently bang her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
