i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
