Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
