Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
