Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
did you just send me my own nude
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
