Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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